Creating New Questions or Answering Existing Ones to Decode the Meaning of Life
In a conscious decision, I delayed starting to work by extending a term at university. Because I knew once I started working, I wouldn’t be able to afford as much time for myself as before, and I wouldn’t be able to wander around in the mountains or forests.
During the extended term of university, I stayed with my family. I used to go to bed late at night and sleep until noon. After waking up, I would have a meal if it was available. If not, I would take my book, water, a tomato, some herbed cheese, a piece of fruit if available, and walk to remote places where shepherds grazed their animals.
Since it was the summer season and I set off at noon, the weather was very hot and challenging. Since there were no trees or such to take shelter under on the way, I used my bag as an umbrella to protect myself from the sun.
A friend once asked me why I walked such a long way in this heat, asserting that I could study at the library or home. The presumption that I took this path due to lack of a proper workspace was disappointing.
What made me endure walking that long distance in such heat was the process of creating new questions to decode the meaning of life, and finding answers to the existing ones.
Being alone with nature and things related to it has been my rehearsal space for preparing and making sense of life.
The places I visited were precisely the spots where I used to take our goats for grazing as a child. While studying at university in Istanbul, I would sometimes wonder if I could muster the courage to visit those places alone again. Because we used to encounter snakes, lizards, and swarms of bees in these places where we grazed the goats. Back then, we weren’t very aware of these potential dangers. But my courage faltered when I realized these dangers during my university days.
While reading a book under a tree in solitude with nature, I would occasionally witness lizards passing by me. If there were lizards around, there must be snakes as well, since as far as I could see, lizards were a food source for snakes. To stay alert for snakes, I often patrolled my surroundings.
While reading a book under a tree in solitude with nature, I would occasionally witness lizards passing by me. If there were lizards around, there must be snakes as well, since as far as I could see, lizards were a food source for snakes. To stay alert for snakes, I often patrolled my surroundings.
One day, while reading a book, an adult lizard swiftly passed between my legs and stopped to look at me after moving a little further away. After maintaining eye contact with the lizard for a while, it disappeared into the rocks. I can safely say that I learned a lot even from this brief interaction with the lizard.
On hot days, who else would come to this place where no caravans pass? Of course, people with various addictions who couldn’t find a suitable environment to meet their needs would come.
These people wanted to ensure that no one was around while fulfilling their needs, and they watched me from a distance until they left my spot. But some of them ignored me, just like I ignored them.
Just like the adult lizard that I ignored, which swiftly passed between my legs, life continued in the flow of nature because I ignored these people too. If I had harmed that lizard, it would most likely harm me too. Similarly, if I had not ignored these people, they would not have ignored me either…
